If You're Gone
by Bria
Summary: Upon learning she is pregnant, Padmé says her goodbyes to Anakin. Yeah, I knows it's been done, this is *my* take on it. Song-fic to If You're Gone by Matchbox 20.


This story contains characters created by George Lucas and owned by Lucasfilm Ltd. While I'm not sure who wrote the song, Matchbox 20 recorded "If You're Gone, " on their Mad Season cd. No money is being earned and no infringement is intended. Please don't sue, because I'm just a poor college student and have no money. 

Distribute as you wish, with disclaimer intact, but please contact me before posting it on another web page. OK? I also must deny permission for this to be posted on any pages that are listed with the "fans.starwars.com" url. I welcome any, and all constructive comments to me at: swbriatharen@yahoo.com :~) You can find my website at the following location: http://fly.to/brias/ 

Author's note: Ok, here is my first Ani/Ami song-fic. That being said, this piece is definitely angst, as it deals with Amidala leaving Anakin (yeah, I know it's been written a dozen times, here's my take on it). 

Also, apologies to Skywalker Child, she wrote an earlier Ani/Ami story using the song. Before I wrote mine, I did a title search to see if it had been done, but nothing came up, and so I thought it hadn't been done. Turns out she just gave it a different title. So sorry for that Skywalker Child, I hadn't read yours until you reviewed this one. Interesting enough, I did find another SW story with the "If Your Gone," title once I had uploaded mine. I don't know why it didn't show up when I did the title search, but it didn't (computer glitch)? It is a Obi-Wan/Qui-Gon (non-slash) piece, but not really a song fic... more of an extrapolation from the ideas of the song. In retrospect, I'm really not surprised others were as inspired by the song as I was. :) 

Dedication: To Jo-san. Thanks for your help in one detail of this story, and for helping me out with the stories I've written in the past or am currently writing. I also dedicate this to my awesome mother, who is not only giving me a trip to Europe (it'll be my first!) in May, but also a discman and a car adapter kit for my Christmas present. Love ya mom, you're the greatest. ^_^   


  
  


**If You're Gone**   
**by Bria**   
**Wednesday, December 27, 2000**

  


The royal doctor looked at his chart, then gave his diagnosis to the Queen. "Congratulations Queen Amidala, you're pregnant. 

Padmé looked back at the doctor in shock. "I'm going to have a baby?" 

The doctor smiled at the Queen. "Yes. You'll have quite the surprise for your husband this evening." 

Padmé's left hand went to her abdomen unconsciously. "Yes, he will be surprised..." she said, almost in disbelief. If I tell him, she thought to herself gravely.   


_I think I've already lost you_   
_I think you're already gone._   
_I think I'm finally scared now_   
_You think I'm weak - But I think you're wrong_   
_I think you're already leaving_   
_Feels like your hand is on the door_   
_I thought this place was an empire_   
_But now I'm relaxed - I can't be sure_

  


Padmé forced herself to relax as she waited in her apartment for Anakin to return. Their marriage had been having problems. She had to admit that now. She had tried to get him to talk before, but he always abruptly changed the subject. Padmé had hoped that Anakin would realize he was walking a thin line and come to his senses. But the problems had just been getting worse. 

Now Padmé carried Ani's child in her womb. A child that had an extreme potential to be strong in the Force. Had things been normal, she would've been thrilled to find out she was pregnant. But what if Anakin was turning to the Dark Side? Obi-Wan had begun suspect it, after the numerous outburst that had occurred between himself and Anakin. If Obi-Wan was right, the child could be a tool for Anakin... Her jaw clenched. Never, I won't allow it, she thought to herself. 

Padmé looked up from where she had been sitting when Anakin stormed in the door. "Stupid teacher," she heard him mutter. _Not a good sign,_ she thought, _but I must do this now... for myself, and for our child... _"Anakin, we need to talk..."   


_I think you're so mean - I think we should try_   
_I think I could need - this in my life_   
_I think I'm just scared - I think too much_   
_I know this is wrong it's a problem I'm dealing_

  


Anakin glared at her slightly. "Not right now." 

Padmé looked at him, her eyes showing grim determination. He would not change the subject this time. "What happened?" 

Anakin snickered. "It's Obi-Wan again. The man is a fool. There is a lot of training I haven't yet received, and he refuses to let me advance to that level." 

Padmé put her hand on Anakin's shoulder. "I'm sure he has his reasons." 

Anakin shook his head. "Obi-Wan says the council has forbidden him to teach me what I want to learn. The council is made up of fools. Many of them believe me to be the Chosen One, and yet they deny me further teachings." 

  


_If you're gone - maybe it's time to go home_   
_There's an awful lot of breathing room_   
_But I can hardly move_   
_If you're gone - baby you need to come home_   
_Cuz there's a little bit of something me_   
_In everything in you_

  


Padmé took a deep breath. This was the opening she'd been looking for. "Anakin, I think I understand their reasoning, and I must confess, I've wondered myself..." 

Anakin stared at Padmé , shocked. "What?" 

Padmé turned so that she was looking at him eye to eye. "I feel as if I'm loosing you Anakin. These past months, you've begun to change. You get angry so easily. It's as if there is a darkness that is taking over you." 

  


_I bet you're hard to get over_   
_I bet the room just won't shine_   
_I bet my hands I can stay here_   
_I bet you need - more than you mind_   
__ __

Anakin shook his head. "You don't know what you're talking about." 

Padmé frowned. "Yes, I do. I may not be a Jedi, but I know you Anakin. Or at least I did. The council is right. You are headed for danger. You're almost never around, and when you are, you're irritable and ready to pick a fight. What has happened? Tell me Anakin, what's happened to you?"   


_I think you're so mean - I think we should try_   
_I think I could need - this in my life_   
_I think I'm just scared - that I know too much_   
_I can't relate and that's a problem_   
_I'm feeling_   
__ __

Anakin sighed. He wanted to lie and deny it, but he knew Padmé would see right through his lie. "I've found a new teacher. Someone who isn't afraid to teach me." 

Padmé gasped, "You _what_?" Even through Anakin and Obi-Wan's numerous disagreements, especially as of late, she never would've believed Anakin would look for another teacher. 

Anakin stood up. "You heard me." 

Padmé couldn't stop the tears that sprung to her eyes. "Then it's true, I have lost my husband. I've lost Anakin Skywalker. You're already gone." 

Anakin placed his hands on her shoulders and shook her. "I haven't gone anywhere. I'm _still _Anakin Skywalker," he shouted at her.   


_If you're gone - maybe it's time to go home_   
_There's an awful lot of breathing room_   
_But I can hardly move_   
_If you're gone - baby you need to come home_   
_cuz there's a little bit of something me_   
_In everything in you_   
__ __

Padmé stepped away from Anakin. "No you're not. The Anakin Skywalker I first met was a child filled with love. The Anakin Skywalker I fell in love with and married was filled with love and a desire to be a guardian of justice and to help keep peace in the galaxy. You're a man filled with anger and a need for power, no matter the cost. Even if it destroys our marriage." 

Anakin raised his eyebrows at her.   


_I think you're so mean - I think we should try_   
_I think I could need - this in my life_   
_I think I'm just scared - do I talk too much_   
_I know it's wrong it's a problem I'm dealing_ __

Padmé nodded. "That's right. I had hoped that if we talked, you would see the errors of your ways. I had hoped you'd tell me that I still meant something to you, and you'd return home to me, as the husband I had married. I now see that that will not happen. Therefore, I must leave you. Good-bye Anakin." 

Padmé went out the door and didn't look back. She had given the Anakin opportunity to end the destructive path he was headed down. Had he, and been sincere about it, she would've told him about their baby. However, upon his refusal, she had to think about the safety of their child. She had to protect him or her from Anakin, at all costs.__

**THE END******

Yeah, I know she left a bit quickly, but the way I figure it, once it was clear Anakin was gone, she had to leave, or risk the chance of him finding out that Padme was pregnant. Also, she probably wouldn't have known she was having twins from the get-go.****

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Love it? Hate it? Please review in the box below and let me know what you think! Feedback is life, the rest is just details! :D Flames will be cheerfully ignored, because I refuse to stoop to that level. Remember, the ability to flame doesn't make you intelligent. ;) 


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